Work!

The trouble with work is... it's so daily.

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

After any raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.

Follow your dream! Unless it's the one where you're at work in your underwear during a fire drill.

I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.

I love my work, I could sit and watch it all day long.

If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.

Work is for people who don't know how to fish.

Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

Not only do I not know what's going on, but I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.

By doing just a little every day, I can gradually let the task completely overwhelm me.

Price. Quality. Service: Pick two.

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdon to hide the bodies of the people I had to kill because they pissed me off.

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.

Quote from the Boss... "I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame it on you."

Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings; they did it by killing all those who opposed them.

Quitters never win, and winners never quit, but those who never quit AND never win are idiots.

Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

Indecision is the key to flexibility.

There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.

"Granted, Mr Wheeler's ideas are stupid and unreasonable, but he does own the company and I think we should go along with him..."

They say that you are put on earth to accomplish a certain amount of things. Right now I am so far behind... I'll never die...

Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.

Everytime I think I've hit the bottom, someone lends me a shovel.

Hard work never killed anyone, but why give it a chance?

They can't fire me, slaves have to be sold.