|WORDS FOUND IN A
BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."
JAWJUH - noun. A highly flammable state just north of Florida.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck."
MUNTS - noun. A calendar division.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I aint
herd from him in munts."
IGNERT - adjective. Not smart. See "Auburn Alumni."
Usage: "Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!"
RANCH - noun. A tool.
Usage: "I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck
my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."
FAR - noun. A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh doesn't change the all in my
pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far."
Y'ALL-noun. A degree of rotation.
Usage: "There are three degrees of Southern rotation: Pitch,
Roll, and Y'all."
BAHS - noun. A supervisor.
Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git
back to work, your bahs is gonna far you!"
TAR - noun. A rubber wheel.
Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh doesn't git
a flat tar in my pickup truck."
TIRE - noun. A tall monument.
Usage: "Lord willing and the creeks don't rise, I sure do hope to see
that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."
HOT - noun. A blood-pumping organ.
HOD - adverb. Not easy.
Usage: "A broken hot is hod to fix."
RETARD - Verb. To stop working.
Usage: "My granpaw retard at age 65.."
TARRED - adverb. Exhausted.
Usage: "I just flew in from Hot-lanta, and boy my arms are tarred."
RATS - noun. Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: "We Southerners are willing to fight for out rats."
(Today's Southern Word comes from a school teacher in America's
southern most state: Hawaii. As part of her class' study of the
"War of Northern Aggression" (known to Yankees at the "Civil War"),
she showed her class the movie Gettysburg. The students wondered why
the Confederacy was fighting for their "rats." The answer, of course,
is obvious: Southerners have very friendly rats ... in fact, you
could almost say that we have some downright civil rats.)
LOT - adjective. Luminescent.
Usage: "I dream of Jeanie in the lot-brown hair."
FARN - adjective. Not local.
Usage: "I cudnt unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be from some
DID - adjective. Not alive.
Usage: "He's did, Jim."
EAR - noun. A colorless, odorless gas (unless you are in LA).
Usage: "He can't breathe ... give 'em some ear!"
BOB WAR - noun. A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."
JU-HERE - a question.
Usage: "Juhere that former Dallas Cowboys' coach Jimmy Johnson
recently toured the University of Alabama?"
HAZE - a contraction.
Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah ... haze ignert."
SEED - verb, past tense.
VIEW - contraction: verb and pronoun.
Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City ... view?"
HEAVY DEW - phrase. A request for action.
Usage: "Kin I heavy dew me a favor?"
WARSH - verb. To clean.
SQUARSH - noun. A vegetable (also verb - to flatten).
Usage: "Warsh that squarsh, Bubba ... you don't know where its been!"
GUMMIT - Noun. An often-closed bureaucratic institution.
Usage: "Great ... ANOTHER gummit shutdown!"
JUICY - Contraction. A question.
GUFF - Noun. A deep chasm.
Usage: "Juicy the Guff of Mexico?"
MARKINS - Noun. Citizens of the United States.
Usage: "My fellow Markins..."
PROSS - Noun. The value or cost of an item.
Usage: "That there prom dress sho is purty, but it is not worth
PARAMOUR - Noun. An automated device for cutting grass.
Usage: "What kinda deal you gonna make me on that paramour?"
RICE - Noun. A contest of speed.
Usage: "Y'all going out to Talledega to see the rice?"