Ergonomicists
~
Forty-five. One to decide which way the bulb ought to
turn, one to calculate the force required, one to design
a tool with which to turn the bulb, one to design a
comfortable - but functional - hand grip, one to design
warning labels for the bulb, the switch ... and ...
Film
directors
~ Just one,
but he wants to do it thirty-two times and when he's
done, everyone says that his last light bulb was much
better.
Firefighters
~ Four;
Three to cut a hole in the roof, one to change the
bulb
Fitters
~ None; just
assume it's changed.
~ None;
that's the electrician's job.
~ One to
take out the old bulb, and put it back
Flies
~ Two. but I
do not know how you get them in there.
Folk singers
(of the Traditional English Variety)
~ Five; one
to change the bulb, one to complain that it's electric,
one to stick his finger in his ear, two to write a dirge
in honour of the old bulb.
Freemasons
~ Wouldn't
you like to know?
Gas
fitters
~ Three; one
to turn up the day before, when you're out; one to change
the switch; one to realise that light bulbs don't run on
gas.
Gods
~ Two. One
to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the
planet.
Gorillas
~ Only one,
but it takes a heck of a lot of light bulbs!
HiFi anoraks
(CD)
~ One, but
the old bulb keeps getting
stustustustustustustustustustuck
HiFi anoraks
(LP)
~ One, but
the old bulb keeps getting stuck ... getting stuck ...
getting stuck ...
Hippies
(Authentic 60s)
~ Oh wow, is
it, like, dark, man?
Hippies (New
Age)
~ None; if
the light bulb is out, that's the way Nature intended
it!
Historians
~ Ten; one
to do it and nine to document it.
Honour
Guards
~
Twenty-two; one to screw in the new bulb, 21 to shoot
it.
Investment
brokers
~ Two. One
to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try
and sell it before it crashes.
Isaac Asimovs
~ Two, but
it's actually the same science fiction writer. Isaac1
went back in time and met Isaac2 in the doorway; Isaac1
then sat on Isaac2's shoulders so that they were able to
reach the bulb. Then the temporal instability created by
this paradox caught up, and the entire room, light bulb
and all, was blown out of existence. Both Isaacs continue
to exist in a parallel universe, however.
Jay Lenos
~ Three; one
to screw in the new bulb, one to ask the old one how it
feels to be replaced, and one to take questions from the
audience.
Jugglers
~ One, but
it takes at least three light bulbs.
Lawyers
~ It only
takes one to change your bulb ... to his.
~ How many
can you afford?
Leninists
~ Leninists
don't change light bulbs, they change the entire
system.
Liberals
~ Two; one
to do it and the other to keep the first one's knee from
jerking.
Libertarians
~ None,
because somebody might come into the room who likes to
sit in the dark.
Librans
~ Er, two.
Or maybe one. No - on second thoughts, make that two. Is
that okay with you?
Librarians
~ I don't
know, but I can look it up for you.
Lumberjacks
~ One, but
he uses a chainsaw.
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