You don't have to wine and dine beer.

Your beer will always wait patiently in the car while you play football.

When your beer goes flat, you toss it out.

Beer is never late.

A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.

Hangovers go away.

Beer never has a headache.

A beer won't get upset if you come home with another beer.

You can have more than one beer in a night and not feel guilty.

You can share a Beer with your friends.

Beer doesn't demand equality.

You can have a beer in public.

If you change beers, you don't have to pay alimony.

A beer is always satisfying.

A beer doesn't have in-laws.

All you have to do to get over a beer is take a leak.

The only thing a beer tells you is when it's time to go to the bathroom.

You are never embarrassed about the beer you bring to a party.

It's okay to leave a party with a different beer than you arrived with.

Beer won't drive you to drink.

You don't need a license to live with a beer.

Beer doesn't grow hair where it shouldn't.

Beer doesn't care how much you earn.

Beer doesn't care if you go to sleep right after you've had it.

Beer is happy to ride in the trunk of your car.

You never have to promise to respect a beer in the morning.

You can put all your old beers in one room, and they won't fight.